It’s September, a glorious, transitional month for many of us as parents. Lots is in flux – the weather is changing, new routines at home, school, and kids’ extracurriculars are getting underway. I heard a colleague of mine equate September, as opposed to January, as the true start of the year, for just these reasons.
Transitions can bring hope and an opportunity to reframe our relationship with our neurodivergent kids. For some of us, parenting from a place of fear or anxiety is our default modus operandi, because it feels easier in the moment. I get it. I too at times “catch” myself shying away from being the authoritative figure in the home.
Let’s face it – setting boundaries around the things our kids love, like screen time, or instituting some type of personal or shared responsibility before a desired payoff, is challenging yet necessary. Parenting out of fear or anxiety can also lead us to a place of inertia, and not being open to re-examining some of the ongoing, bigger picture issues we deal with and need to continuously (re) -evaluate, such as: medication management for our child or their educational environment. Unfortunately, continued fear on behalf of caregivers around the efficacy and safety of stimulants for ADHD symptoms still exists, despite decades of evidence-based research to suggest the contrary.
Additionally, and perhaps more importantly, parenting from a place of anxiety and fear is infectious and our kids are particularly good at sensing this, which can have unintended consequences on their mental health. Yet here’s the silver lining – parenting from a place of calm and confidence is also contagious!
You may be wondering – how can I begin to make this shift? One simple, zero-cost idea is to get out into nature. And you never know, your kids may follow you outside – a win win! Despite denials from my 10 year old son, he truly is in his element when he is out in nature, specifically high up in a tree. Yes, I’ve had to manage my own anxiety (and other parents’ judgment) about his tree-climbing abilities.
Here are a few photos I snapped recently. I’m always amazed at what you can see, smell, and hear, when you’re primed for it.
What is your child’s favorite outdoor endeavor that lights him up? I’d love to discuss how you can leverage your child’s natural interests and abilities to deepen your relationship with him or her.
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